Introduction

2017. január 31. 10:38 - Count Bobbula

Introduction to a troubled mind - one even myself is not able to understand...

Eversince that fatal day in my life, surviving a severe and mortal car-accident, I've observed completely new features within my personality. One of those is painting. It started out as a keep-yourself-calm therapy and also to be merely occupied not thinking about the terrors I have experienced. I started painting a mural for my elder son (3). He is/was (children tend to have same kind of rollercoaster effect as I have in terms of interest in something particular) a huge addict to Fireman Sam. A real superhero story concerning a fireman, his team and a tiny village in Wales where everything happens. The village is a complete disaster, since accidents and fires occur at a daily rate which is quite exceptional for a village with a known citizen-count of 20 people... But anyhow, my son loves it. So I decided to paint.

What started out as a nice sketch with pencil (always known for having some skills when it comes to drawing), became at first a nasty piece of dry potty but after the first figure it became something in which I found serenity, call for perfection and total concentration, resulting in a fine mural painting

This is somehow a fine depiction of what happens to someone who has suddenly become a shadow of himself, hiding in a shell and rarely peeking out.

As to what happened... Life has certain arrangements made which we are not able to reject or avoid. Some call it karma, some coincidence or even fate. I prefer to see it as a wake-up call.

That very day, Summer of '16, I was driving homewards with three of my colleagues/employees from a Team Building event at Lake Balaton. Last night has been quite a party, lot of drinking. Many of you already feel what's coming: "drunk guy has an accident". Only thing I'd be able to deny is that I wasn't drunk at the time of tragedy, though cannot deny I was tired. As anyone would have been.

Driving off from Lake Balaton at noon was a primarily organised time-set, it gives your body and mind the rest it needs and can be fit enough to cover the trip back home, which is around 200km. I felt I was. How I wish I'd never felt this at that very moment.

A reasonably quiet trip with all lads resting next and behind me, and me behind the steering wheel, feeling fit, but tired. I was driving a Daewoo 1.4 from 2001, loaded with 4 persons allowed me a cruising speed of max 130 kM/h so there was no worry as for driving too fast. There was no traffic, three almost empty lanes.

All of a sudden, I lost track of time and thoughts. I ended up at the backside of a 40T tilt-truck. At the very moment of collusion I woke up/came to sense. All I felt was terror, anger, unknown angst and fear. I saw the engine took fire, and saw three guys next and behind me lying stiff in blood...